I am 30 years old and I just got braces. I have had them for just over a week and
these are my thoughts.
My entire life, I have hated my teeth. My bottom row is pretty straight, but I have
some vampire chompers. I used to work
with kids at an After School Club program and kids would always ask me if I was
a vampire ha ha. That’s always good to
hear. My top row is terrible, vampire
teeth, crooked front row and then they go way narrow in the back. Of course, people are nice and have never
said, “You need braces!”, but I have always wanted them. I admire people that have straight teeth and
I sure respect those people that have had braces in the past. You have my respect. Like most things that you don’t like about
yourself, they bug you far more than they bug others. But, I am not getting braces for others, I am
getting them for myself. For those of
you who have already had braces, I am sure you can relate to the following. For those that are older and thinking about
getting braces, hopefully this can help persuade you (or not ha ha) to get
braces and be a helpful and humorous guide to get you through.
The worst part of braces:
-The questions!
Question: “Why didn’t you get braces when you were
young?”
Answer: “Well, my family didn’t have the luxury of
insurance when I grew up – so thanks for not making me feel like white trash. “
Question: “Hey, we are thinking
about getting our 9 year old daughter braces.
Who did you go to?”
Answer: “Thanks
for making me feel like white trash.”
Question: “I didn’t even think you needed braces, why
did you get them?”
Answer: “Thanks for making me feel like I am vain and
white trash.”
-Talking to people.
Everyone looks at your braces when they talk to you. They say they can barely tell, but they can
tell. Before I speak to anyone, I tell
them, “Sorry, I just got brace, so I apologize if you can’t understand me”. The elephant in the room has been addressed.
-Talking to girls. It
is embarrassing to not fully pronounce words (hard to pronounce my F’s and M’s)
and the occasional drool that comes.
-Not wanting to talk at all, since your mouth hurts. I was driving with my brother for 20 minutes
and didn’t say 1 word, because it wasn’t worth it ha ha.
-The cankers. Oh, the
cankers. I have 3 inside my bottom lip,
2 inside my upper lip, and 1 in my cheek where my last bracket is.
-Flossing. It’s the
worst. The first night it took me 20
minutes and my jaw was sore from opening my mouth wider than I have before. The first night, I had this crap floss that
kept shredding in my brackets and I had strands of floss stuck in my teeth and brackets
the next day. Not to mention the bloody
mess, since my gums were soar. After a week, I am brushing/flossing for about
10 minutes.
-Eating. The first
week, I was eating about 700 calories a day.
I ate Greek yogurt for breakfast, applesauce for lunch and soup for
dinner. I lost 5 pounds, had a headache
every day and had no energy ha ha. It
sucked. The worst was that everyone around me was eating the most delicious
foods you could imagine. Everything looks good when you can’t eat it. But, I
guess that is a principle of life – everything is enticing when you can’t have
it. Now, I am starting to eat more
normal food. I ate a salad and it felt
so awkward to chew. I felt like I had
more salad in my brackets then I actually ate.
When I went to the bathroom to check my teeth, it confirmed what I
thought. I guess I will eat soup whenever
I eat out with other people.
-Wax. The wax from
the dentist’s office is crap. I get 3
small rolls in 1 pack each time I come.
I go through the pack in 2 days.
It is not only hard to put on, but I need more of it. My friend gave me ear plug wax (I know it
sounds gross, but it is way better.) Instead of putting wax on the brackets
that hurt the inside of my cheeks, I just roll a fat ball of wax out and put it
across my top and bottom rows, like a mouth guard. It looks ridiculous, but it feels amazing.
Pros:
-I am kind of OCD and I have to organize everything. I feel like my teeth are getting organized,
so in a weird way, it feels good.
-Only 58 more weeks.
Who’s counting?
-I get to eat healthy without being a dick about it. Sometimes when you eat out with your friends,
you don’t want to order healthy food to sound uppity and that usually makes
others second guess what they are ordering.
So, this gives me an excuse without sounding like I am better than
someone.
-I’ll have the best damn teeth you have ever seen!
If you have any tips, questions, or comments, I am happy to
hear from you!
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